Determined

See those hands??

They are mine.

So……….. if those are my hands, it must mean……

I am UNDER the dock!

You know there must be a good story with this one!

When we were at the beach we all enjoyed kayaking in the inlet behind the house.  Since it’s an inlet, there would be a high and low tide at our dock.  Obviously, during high tide it was much easier to get into the kayak than at low tide.  At low tide there was about a 4-5 foot distance between the dock and the kayak.  At high tide it was only about a foot, so it was easy to just scoot over into the kayak.

Well…….. I was, Miss. Determined to kayak in the morning during low tide.   I attempted to get into the kayak one beautiful, still, and quiet morning.  As I was entering the kayak, I put too much pressure with my right foot on the side of the kayak as I was getting in. This spilled me and the kayak into the salty, inlet waters.

The kayak started floating under the dock and since these were  not our kayaks, I was paranoid of watching it float out into the river so I grabbed it with my feet and held onto it.  Which presented a dilemma.  How do I get out of the water with out letting the kayak go.  Curt was there, but was unsure as to what to do.  I told him to go get Tyler. :)

I hear Tyler come walking down the path to the dock, he yells out,

“Mom, I am coming to the rescue…….Mom…..Mom?????  Where are you?”

I reply, oh so casually, “under the dock”

“What!!!”  And shortly after that I see Tyler peering under the dock to find me under it, and in the water.  We both laughed hysterically for a few moments, then he grabbed the kayak and pulled it out of the water and then almost effortlessly pulled me out of the water! 

( Nice to see the strength trainer I have been paying for him to go to is working!).

I was determined to try the kayak again right away, but I knew I had to dry off and head out to the beach for the day.  But shortly after we arrived home again from the beach, I was back at it, determined to get back into that kayak!

Determined, that has always been me, I embrace a challenge and I am determined to turn it into something good.  Ah, but this Alzheimer’s has been a tough one!  As things worsen, it gets harder.  But I do find myself even more determined to press on, to keep living life.  It can be tempting to just keep Curt home when we head out, with our busy lives sometimes it’s easier.  But I am determined to get him out, keep him going to things as long as he can, even if there are a few of those awkward moments that Alzheimer’s sometimes brings out. 

Curt’s filter for saying things you shouldn’t appears to be “broken” and that lends it self to an occasional awkward moment!  Like the time he  said to a friend, ever so sweetly, “I am so glad you are trying to loose weight (long pause)………..you need to and it will help.” :)
 He moves slow, on occasion walks in the wrong restroom door, comes out with his zipper still down…but it’s all good, it’s Alzheimer’s not Curt!  We are determined to keep living life, even if it not the life we planned on, it’s the life we know at this time.  So we will make the best of it!! :)

Our glorious vacation was a part of that, we stayed active, Curt went out in the ocean a lot and really enjoyed it.  He couldn’t ride in the waves like he used to and occasionally got toppled by a wave, but he was also determined! :)  He also enjoyed parasailing immensely. So we press on, we are heading off to school in a few days. 

Once again with out Curt.

Tyler will be a SENIOR, and Madi a sophomore, oh where has the time gone. But we press on……..and embrace this life God has given us to the best of our ability.

We are determined…….

~Continually restate to yourself what the purpose of your life is.  The destined end of man is not happiness, nor health, but holiness~

Oswald Chambers

Prayers are appreciated as we start school next week. It will be a big adjustment for me, but also for Curt.  He will have someone with him during the day, and will have to get used to new routine.

Thank you friends!

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14 responses »

  1. Once again you inspire me. Once again I sit in my recliner and pray for you and your family. Once again I am amazed at your strength and determination to keep life as normal as possible in the midst of Alzheimer’s. I appreciate the Oswald Chamber’s comment because it puts everything in perspective. Life on Earth wasn’t meant to always be fair, happy, healthy, or successful. Even as Christians, we forget that our purpose is holiness and coming closer to God. Your blog is a powerful reminder of what life is about. And God is giving you pleasure and humor in the midst of trial. I love your pictures. I love your blog. I love your perspective. I pray for a good year for all of you as you enter the next phase of your journey. Thanking God for you….

  2. I love your thinking…. It’s Alzheimer’s, not Curt – that is so true! You continue to amaze me. Even though I’m sure most days you do not feel amazing, you truly are. I know it’s God in you, but I also know that it is you and the choices you make to re-direct your thinking when the devil is throwing you curve ballls! I hope it is a great year and that in some way I can support you in this journey.

  3. This is educational as well as insightful Sandy. Thanks for sharing your family life. I can’t make any consistent commitment to help right now but you can call me spur of the moment if something doesn’t work on a day when you need an extra hand….cell 717-572-9559 or home 823-6068. Mary Ann

  4. Oh Sandy!! first of all….that last photo!! just awesome. and 2nd….your faith in Christ comes shining through….as always. I will pray for you as you begin the school year…..and it will be so easy to remember as I also start back this upcoming week! WOW….a SENIOR..that is a special year…enjoy every moment!!!!

  5. Sandy, the picture of you and Curt sailing through the air is such a visual of how you are living right now. In the picture, you were trusting the lifeline, in life you are trusting God to keep you “sailing” You and Curt are in my prayers.

  6. Your vacation pictures are wonderful! Thank you for sharing your life with us. For constantly reminding us of what is important. And for being an example of the determination I sometimes struggle to follow.

    I hope you and your family adjust quickly to the new routine. I can’t believe you have a senior! Enjoy this year with him!

  7. I love your determination, Sandy. Praying for you to keep it as you start a new school year, again without your Curt. Your journey is so tough. May the Lord bless you and keep you as you continue to honor Him through the love you’re giving to Curt.

  8. Oh your story of the kayak had me in stitches. Good thing for son’s who work out! :v)

    Love your determination Sandy to keep on going with life and not to shrink back. You and your family are an inspiration.

  9. Sandy, I am curious … how is Curt doing in all these? In moments when there is clarity in his mind, does he express anything about his situation, like fear? anger? Would he be willing to share a blog post from his point of view?

  10. I love your attitude, you really are such an inspiration. I’ve stopped by your blog many times and never commented but I just had to this time, in the midst of an extremely difficult situation, you make the most of it, I don’t think I’ve ever heard you complain, I’ll say it again you really are an inspiration and your trust and faith in God is remarkable. I absolutely love the Oswald Chambers quote.

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