The day passed in our house pretty much unnoticed. There was no mention of it, I actually didn’t realize it until a few days later.
Then it occurred to me, It’s been 2 years since those dreaded words were spoken to Curt and I in a Dr’s office on Oct 1st, 2010….. “Curt has dementia, most likely Younger Onset Alzheimer’s, this is very rare at his age (46).”
2 long……..busy frustrating, overwhelming years.
2 years of little hope, as we continue to watch the speeding train of Alzheimer’s wreak chaos and havoc in Curt’s brain. I was thinking tonight as I was helping Curt get dressed for bed, how quickly this disease has progressed. Curt gets so discouraged at times, some days he is very aware if his regression, other days he is oblivious to it all. During a recent visit to his neurologist, the Dr. asked a series of questions as part of a test known as the MMSE (Mini Mental State Exam).
What year is it? “2010″
What month is it (it was Sept.) “July”
What season is it? “Spring” (It was fall)
Yes, he is slipping more and more into that black hole. He really was unaware that his responses were incorrect.
Regardless, the kids and I see it all. Tyler and Madi are such typical teens in so many ways, but tucked deep in the depths of that fun loving teen life they too struggle with daily watching Curt struggle.
Not sure if this is a pic of a “normal” teen but this is Tyler doing a normal teen thing leading the student section during a football game. And Madi sporting her new Liberty Univ. gear on a recent visit to Liberty. Such normal things……….
Yet I see they are also concerned, Tyler recently wrote a rap song and penned these words as he sees Curt continue to fall into the black hole of Alzheimer’s.
“I promise I’ll be by your side when the going gets rough
Whatever I do will never be enough
You were always by my side when life was getting tough
Now as your starting to fade away, I get to see you worsen every single day
I am tongue tied and speechless and I don’t know what to say.”
Yes I think that sums it up for all of us, we are speechless and don’t know what to say…….or do at times. This is such uncharted waters, living with Alzheimer’s at our age and this stage of life is not normal.
However, we also get to see a glimpse of such acts of goodness and kindness by such supportive friends. Amid the bad, there is good!
I wish I could convey to you just even a glimpse of the help we have received, and how it speaks volumes to all of us. I don’t think Curt realizes the magnitude of the help that has come our way, but the kids and I see it.
Friends will email or text me asking out of the blue to bring a meal……..and it’s always such a perfect time!
A dear friend from high school has been sending us gift cards for local restaurants, so helpful!
A group from a local church came one Sunday and did an TON of yard work and household chores for us.
A neighbor sends over soup, another neighbor drops off on of our favorite fall pumpkin cookies (and I had been feeling guilty for not baking them yet this fall, when I “always make them”)
Friends donate to the Alzheimer’s association on our behalf ( I am the WORST fundraiser, the fact that we raised close to $1,000, that was all our friends and teachers at school supporting us, not me doing a lot. Really you would not want me on your fundraising committee )
Please know you are appreciated, I feel as if I forget to thank some of you at times. I have so much to take care of I am finding that some of those details get lost in my brain and are so quickly replaced by more immediate and urgent needs. So please know if you were not thanked, it is not the result of not being appreciated it the result of my current ailment…..FBS!!!!! (Full Brain Syndrome, I have a very serious case of it!!!)
Thank you for your ongoing prayers, the uncharted waters are tending to get much rougher to manage lately, so prayers for wisdom, guidance, and extra energy and patience for me would be helpful. (Has someone invented a patience pill yet, I will be happy to trial that in a clinical trial…just sayin!)
I must leave you with a pic or two of our newest addition to the household! Meet Paisely! WE all love her and Curt is really bonding with her, he seems to really enjoy hanging out with her.
Told ya she is a cutie.
Life is hard for us, but God is still God, and He is good, we press on!
Waiting, Trusting and Hoping……