People frequently ask me how I stay so strong and positive? How do I deal with all the crazy emotions of watching my sweet husband slip into the deep, deep black hole of Younger Onset Alzheimer’s Disease? How do I get it ALL done? I often jokingly say, “lots of coffee!”
But in reality…….I don’t always stay so positive and strong, I hate the emotions of watching Curt fall prey to the grips of a demoralizing disease, and I forget things all the time and simply don’t get it all done. I hate the chaos of a life filled with trials, unexpected calamities, and hardships of taking care of everything.
I guess people think I get it all done since I show up to school each day with matching clothes and a smile on my face. And to me that alone is an accomplishment!
And maybe just showing up with a smile is half the battle……ok matching, clean clothes is a battle too. But when you are walking a tough path, you learn to celebrate the little things….like matching socks and clean clothes that were actually on a hanger and not at the bottom of the laundry basket! :)
Yes you celebrate the little things, the 10 minutes of a quiet walk on a still night with the dog, a few moments with a hot cup of coffee sitting by the Christmas tree in the morning before the family wakes up. Those little moments you cling to them, they sustain you.
I no longer think about the things I wish we could do and go to. Or get consumed with the thought process of “if Curt didn’t have Alzheimer’s we could………..” Or even the pangs of yearning for a normal life, that is simply futile and gets me NO WHERE….except depressed!
So I cherish those moments, those little things, and it’s in those moments I find that Peace that does surpass all understanding in this storm of life.
Yes those little joys that we often miss in a busy life, those moments…….Yes those precious moments I cling to them, embrace them and welcome them!!!
The other day with all the snow on the ground, Tyler noticed the footprints in the snow indicating someone had walked around back in our woods. He said to me with a smile, “Mom I know those tracks in the woods are from you, you probably walked back there and took some pictures of the pretty snow!”
Yes he was right I did! That was ONE of those precious moments, walking in the peaceful woods as the snow seemed to embrace each tree with such beauty.
Oh, don’t we all need those moments!
Yes it’s Christmas, a chaotic time of year, the struggle to get it all done.
But I am learning more and more, the perfectly wrapped presents, the perfected Christmas morning cinnamon rolls, the yummy Christmas feast, the cute Christmas outfits are not what it is all about. Sure, they are fun traditions and truly bring a family together.
But deep down what I have learned is the importance of those moments, a pause in the chaos to reflect upon a simple truth of a Savior born to redeem a sinful world.
Yes it’s in those moments of reflection, that is where I find my true strength!
Light and life to ALL He brings
Ris’n with healing in His wings
Mild He lays His glory by
Born that man no more may die
Born to raise the sons of earth
Born to give them second birth
Hark! The herald angels sing
“Glory to the newborn King!“
Yes Glory to the Newborn King!
Enjoy a few moments of reflecting upon the Glory of the Newborn King this Christmas, trust me when I say, that is where your strength for each day comes from!
Merry Christmas friends!