So where have you been?

Jesus Dark Chocolate – Well thanks Sandy for FINALLY sitting down to  chat with me.  You have totally deserted me the last month or so! Where have you been?

Sandy- Well thank for contacting me JDC, and setting up this interview.  I know I have been MIA the last month and  a half.  My goal is to update this great blog, once a month…..but yea that didn’t happen in February!

Jesus Dark Chocolate – Was February a real stressful month for you?

Sandy – Well no, not more than the average chaos and stress…..actually I pretty much call chaos and stress normal.  Let’s see….. a  water pipe burst in my garage, my heating unit in the house was down for a day and a half, I had a minor woman surgery with pre-op appointments and follow ups (fun times!), we found out Tyler has a herniated disc in his back and I shoveled the driveway a lot with all the crazy winter storms.  But really it seems the stresses of life don’t phase me as much anymore.  If I had a normal, stress free life I think I would get bored!  But I do miss having Curt along my side to help with running the household and the decisions of the day.  I miss his wisdom and insight.

C and I

Jesus Dark Chocolate – Well it does sound like February was an interesting month for you.  How is Curt doing these days?

Sandy – Well……… I have been slowly watching him slip away for 3 years now.  You would think it would get easier to handle when he continues to falter and struggle.  But it doesn’t.  Just the other day he asked me what my name was.  And last night when we got home fairly late from Madi’s lacrosse game, he wondered what “this place” is?  It was our house, our house that we have lived in for 19 years….and to him, it was just another unfamiliar place.  It’s an ongoing grieving process……Nancy Reagan said years ago when referring to the late President Reagan and his diagnosis of Alzheimer’s, “it truly is the long goodbye.”

C enjoying HC

Jesus Dark Chocolate – Oh you are right, it is a slow, demoralizing good-by.  Well changing the subject a bit, What is up with Tyler’s back?

Sandy – When he was home for Christmas break we thought we were treating a hamstring injury.  But as the hammy started to heal, we realized what he was also feeling was nerve pain and tingling in the leg.  We figured it out and took him to our chiropractor.  But he had to return to school 5 days later.  The trainer and the staff at college treated him right away with PT, traction table, chiropractic care etc.  But one night, while simply brushing his teeth, everything went from bad to worse.  He is currently getting epidural steroid injections in his back.  He just received a second two weeks ago and is schedule for a third on Wednesday this week.

JDC – Well that is a total bummer for Tyler.  How is he handling it and how are you dealing?

Sandy – Tyler is bummed and really misses playing baseball, but he is a Morris and continues to stay positive and is truly seeking God’s wisdom and direction in this. Me, well that is another story.  I miss watching him play!  I feel like our normal life these days is stressful and emotional, and watching him play provides a moment of escape from the worries of the day.  Does that make sense???

JDC – Yes it does make sense.  Well all of this sounds pretty discouraging,  I mean just listening to you, things  sound pretty depressing!

Sandy – Well my friend (oh I mean my blog),  it has been pretty depressing!  But that is the beauty of it all!

JDC – Oh I missed that life lesson, there is beauty in discouragement??  I am not really with you on this one!!??

Sandy – Well trust me, I was really missing it too.  But then one, FRIGID night when I was out walking the dog, and  praying.  The tears rolled down my cheeks and nearly turned to ice and  God spoke to my heart about Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart and lean not on your own understanding;  In ALL your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight (NIV)

I have heard those verses probably thousands of times over the years and had become rather numb to it’s meaning.  But on that night it was the part Lean Not on Your Own Understanding, that really punctured my soul and spoke to my heart.  In my own understanding Curt having Alzhiemer’s, Tyler having a herniated disc in his back his freshman year of college on a baseball scholarship…… make NO SENSE!  You can’t help but ask, Why does this stuff happen to us. 

But the verse says, Lean Not on Your Own Understanding, it may not make sense to us.  But the Bible still tells us to trust.  And let me tell you THAT is hard!  Real hard for this mom.   But in these discouraging, depressing times, I am truly surviving on God’s strength alone and in that I am learning to trust.  To trust that He has a plan in all of this, and I don’t have to like it! 

Yes, Trust, God is in charge, He never said I will see how this is all working for some good, but I TRUST that it will.  Yes I trust, despite my tendency to kind of think I have a better plan than God’s plan…….  :)

I am learning to try to stop carrying the burdens alone and to Trust the Lord for them.  Madi had the flu  this past week and was  down and out for the past SIX days! But once again I am reminded to trust the Lord with the burden/worries of the day!  It’s not always easy…….

JDC – Oh that Trust thing can be tough, Trust me I really don’t get it! :)

Sandy – Well JDC I am just starting to get it, I have a feeling it’s a process.  But I am thankful to be at this place on this crazy journey!

JDC- So how can friends pray for your family?

Sandy – Well do pray for WISDOM with decisions as we move forward with Curt.  I need to start deciding on how to proceed with care for him.  I am good through the rest of the school year, but it’s next school year and even this summer I am worried about. Our wonderful community help to raise almost $10,000 for our family through Alzheimer’s Awareness nights at our high school basketball game.  This money has allowed me to contact an agency to help provide much needed personal care for Curt.  I am so thankful for the support from our community.  But I just need some direction as we move forward.

photo

Also pray for Tyler’s back, the kid breaks 2 different ankles last year during basketball season and a mere year later he is dealing with a large herniated disc in his back.  He gets one more epidural steroid injection, if it does nothing we will have to consider surgery.  So please pray for wisdom and healing for him!

Athletics Headshots portraits. December 4, 2013. (photo by Les Schofer)

And it’s spring sports season.  That means life gets a little busier for Curt.  We will be sitting outside at Madi’s lacrosse games.  Those kind of outings are just getting harder for Curt to endure.

photo[2]

And just pray for me……….

JDC – Well thanks for getting back in touch with me your favorite blog!! Now go enjoy some dark chocolate and a cup of coffee!  Stay in touch!

 

9 responses »

  1. Sandy I just read your recent post here you are truly an amazing woman who has God on her side to help us all through these trials which we do not truly understand. I will lift you up in prayer that all stress and issues will be improved and taken care of by our Almighty Father, I am inspired by your readings, congrats on your publication I am starting to write again and my dream is to write a devotional book God bless you all Sue Cullen

  2. Thanks for sharing Sam, will be praying for you. I have been thinking about Proverbs 3 lately too, trusting and leaning on God instead of our own wisdom. Life giving words from our loving Father. Love you and praying for you and your family.

  3. love you – still praying the Lords Mercy and restoration on you all. You are a shining blessing of what it means to persevere. You are an excellent author may the Lord continue to use you greatly

  4. life verse since high school, never gets old and was the topic the last few weeks for us as well, and today at church… God’s character never changes thank you for your faithfulness to God, to Curt, and the kids. Praying, Praying and praying… We love you guys!

  5. God is using you in such an encouraging way when you write in your blog. Your faith is so evident and God is blessing you all the time. Praying for your family.

  6. Sandy, well i enjoyed this and now I know more of what to pray for! I had a slipped disk summer of 2012…it took over 12 weeks to heal which meant no hiking which you know was difficult for me. I don’t know if a slipped disk is the same as a herniated one, but i ended up at a christian chiropractor near our home and found out that chiro with PT (on a fitness ball) can actually help the healing process. I’m assuming Tyler has tried various things. but it doesn’t hurt to ask the chiro he sees about core fitness work. I couldn’t believe it took the pain away but it did….anyways, i don’t want this to be about me. I love that your faith is so strong and praise the Lord about the money raised for you guys!!!! that is marvelous news. I wish I lived closer so I could help you out. I hope Madi is feeling well again and that you hang in there. Proverbs 3:5-6 is full of wisdom for us. I’m so glad you had the experience you did regarding it….even if it WAS on a frigid night :) God bless you Sandy.

  7. Oh, Sammie Sue……YOU are amazing! I am proud to be your mom!!! I love and admire you so much! This format is quite clever, and I really liked it. Keep your faith strong, Honey, and you will do just fine. TRUST in the Lord. I am happy that you get out for walks. They help a lot. We look forward to seeing you on your birthday weekend. WE will talk then.
    Love you so much! MOM

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